Dear Future Husband...Or If You Are A Guy, Wife.

I'd be lying if I didn't say that I got the idea to write this post primarily after listening to Meghan Trainer's catchy song "Dear future husband" 

But really, as a 20 year old college student, it's not like I haven't thought about it.

Marriage, what is it supposed to be? 

When is it right? 

How do you know it's going to last?

I am fortunate enough to have grown up in a house where my parents have given me the ultimate goal of what I'd like my future to look like. 

Almost anyone who looks at them see's just how wonderfully they get along with one another. Even after 27 years. 

Want to know something insane? They got married after knowing each other for 3 months!

While I completely admire their marriage, don't get me wrong...I don't expect, nor perhaps want that to be my reality. 

Now, why do they work so well? It's simple really. 

Despite all of their struggles, they have always put God first. 

They love each other unconditionally. Basically they try to conform to to the very well known "love" chapter of the bible. 

" Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 8 Love never fails." 

1 Corinthians 13

One of the things that sticks out to me in this passage is this: "it keeps no record of wrongs"

When you are in it. You are in it. Love is forgiveness, and Jesus is our ultimate example. 

To attempt to answer "when you know it's right"to get married: Pray. And pray together as a couple, AFTER you've talked about the idea of marriage. 

Don't force things along. 

"Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires"

Songs of Solomon 8:4

If you don't think you are ready, you're probably not. 

Sometimes I wonder if my parents actually knew that they were ready. I know that at that time in their life they weren't thinking about what God's plan was for them. 

But they matured together by nothing other, I'm sure, than a miracle. 

And now they are the best example I have.

So here's a list dedicated to all of us who hope to someday be married.

A list that is inspired by the bible and everything God wants for you to have.

Future Wifey/Husby Requirments

1. Loves God!
2. Loves you
3. Is patient with you and others
4. Put's you before themself
5. Put's others before themself
6. Is humble
7. Is confident in leading/encouraging you in God's word 
8. Protects you and what the both of you stand for
9. Trusts God in asking them to help make daily decisions (nothing is trivial)
10. Perseveres through hard times (because they will happen)
11. Will do all of the above unconditionally

And any extras, God...would be icing on the cake. 

Never accept less than what God hopes for you...

And my own personal prayer, please let this happen before I hit 30! 

haha...

No, but really. 

Insecurities

This post may be slightly unconventional. That is at least compared to my others...

Can I just say how much it sucks to feel insecure?
And that's totally universal when applied to any situation.

Can I share something personal? I think I will, after all it is MY blog.

I know God is there for me, but it's really hard to trust in him when I feel vulnerable.

When I feel like everyone is judging me. I go through these conversations in my head

I wonder if I'm being annoying...oh come on Ally, be confident. Who cares what they think.

I wonder if people look through multiple pictures on my profile...because obviously my profile picture is too fabulous. Okay. Now I'm just being conceited.

Will people judge me for this blog?

Probably. But so what, I guess.

Right now I am insecure. My future looks very fuzzy, and it's because I'm going through a lot of changes. I'm afraid of failing...at many things. School, relationships...um, life.

I'm not asking you to care, but I'm pretty sure just about anyone who takes the time to read this can relate somehow.

God is there for you. Prayer does so much. It does.

Even though, if you are like me it sucks not having an answer when you want it. Remember God knows the difference between when we want it and when we need it.

All in good time. I'll keep trusting God.

There are too many excellent bible verses for this topic.

Habakkuk 2:3  For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.