Dating for Dummies

Hello all, welcome! 

Today I'd just really like to lay it out to you on the table when it comes to dating...

Dating. Isn't it so much fun? 😏 Yes, it's quite a thrill to prepare to sit across from someone you hardly know and venture into conversation that may or may not flow. 

You arrive, are seated at the table and are given menu's where it's a struggle to pick out what to order. Maybe it's just me, but I mentally go through what would be a bad idea to have. Like...chili is definitely a no go...or a go 💩...Nothing that will get stuck in your teeth easily...and well for me: nothing that I have to actively use a knife to cut through (I'm no product of finishing school, and I'm apt to look like some kind of neanderthal who's just discovered cutlery)

Anyway, It's a struggle. And if you think the process of being ON the date is hard, well, I'd say it's even harder once you go home. Waiting...and waiting to feel that little buzz in your pocket from your phone that will say, "I had a really great time tonight" And of course because they made you wait a whole half of an hour for such reassurance, you play hard to get, put your phone down and when it feels like you've also waited a half hour, end up replying five minutes later with, "I did too, we should do it again sometime!" .... and then you are horrified 😟...I just sounded way too overeager and excited. 

Let's shift a little bit here

Obviously I can only write from a female perspective on how I think maybe most ladies of my generation feel when it comes to guys taking us out...but I was thinking that maybe this perspective would come in handy...of course I'll add a little christian flair, but I want to lay it out: What dating should be expected to be.

Guys:

When you ask a girl out on a date...make sure it's clear that they know it's a D-A-T-E and not a DEY ATE...like "They ate", get it?😉 Sorry, that was a horrible pun, but I think it get's my point across. We don't want to be guessing all night if you invited us out because you are interested in us, or if we are simply becoming your girl-friend. Oh you gotta love that dash. It makes the end of the night horribly uncomfortable too...when the waiter brings the bill, and you are still talking, but no one has touched the little black book yet... then death by awkwardness occurs when the waitress comes back and asks if it's ready...🏏...🏏(Sorry, another horrible pun...but those are meant to signify crickets) But honestly, it's terribly uncomfortable. 

So rule number one: If it's a date that YOU'VE invited the girl on, then make it clear by saying something like, "Would you be interested in going on a date Friday night? I'm interested in getting to know you better. My treat." 

It's important to make intentions known from the start, or things become much more confusing than they have to be. 

Playing hard to get or coy is really not as fun as it's made it out to be! That being said, at the end of the night if you've enjoyed your date and feel like you'd like to go out again with her...give her some indication that that is so! You don't have to kiss her...DON'T shake her hand...but a hug would be acceptable, as long as you tack on a "thanks for a great night, I'd love to take you out again sometime"

Be clear, BE clear, BE CLEAR! WE BEG OF YOU! Guys, it's your job to initiate things when it comes to relationships...this isn't just coming from me, this is what God has called you as MEN to do. Lead and be clear with your intentions: 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love. 

With that being said...

Ladies:

Do not chase after men. It's not your job to, really. In today's world it has become hard for us to remember that, but know that we are meant to be pursued. Just as we are the bride of christ and God pursues us as the groom. We are worth being pursued as well. Proverbs 31:10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. Ladies, wait on the Lord. 

Men and Women of God:

Be honorable when it comes to romantic pursuit. Do not accept anything less than what you know God would want for you. AND Don't simply grab onto someone just to have someone to hold onto. Be obedient to God, and he will give you the desires of your heart. He will provide what is best for you, He will provide who is best for you. Be PATIENT Psalm 37:4 Take delight in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Above all, remember that God should be put first. Remember that God is love. If you fall in love with Jesus before anyone else, then you'll never feel lacking. Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Hopefully there's a takeaway in this blog post. It was on my heart to share 💞

To Be Real With You

Realness is more than being you in front of others and not caring how other people see you.

It's more than being self confident and content.

It means letting people see you...it means being transparent

Especially with those who you want to be close with

It means consistently letting those you truly value in, and allowing them to be a confidant.

It means to be Pure:Unfiltered

Lately this is my personal struggle...

Lately I've had the ability to self edit with the people I've prioritized building relationships with, and I don't know if it's helpful or harmful. 

I'm like Tropicana. I'm orange juice...but I have no pulp--I'm from concentrate. And while I may seem more appealing, I am less authentic. Less healthy...

I accomplish appearing appealing by self editing, but I have to be honest with myself and admit that it isn't very fulfilling. 

And I can't help but wonder if the people on the other end might start to feel the same way about me...

Like they don't really know me.

But I want to know them--and I hope they want to know me..

I believe we all have this same struggle. Today technology allows us to sit and compose a single text--a single response in whatever amount of time that we feel is necessary in order to come across to the other person as interesting. 

To come across as interesting...or probably more accurately...to try not to come across as "weird"

I wish this insecurity didn't have to exist. 

I wish I could just come on strong right away to the people I feel a strong connection with--don't we all? It would make things so much simpler.

I can't help but think of how strong God came onto Mary. This girl is just going along, minding her own business, and is so abruptly interrupted by an angel who's like "by the way, you've been chosen to give birth to Jesus, and oh yeah...you'll probably have to figure out how you're going to tell people you got pregnant when you aren't married yet. You are so blessed! Good luck!" 

That was the AT version by the way (Ally Translation) 

But anyway, back to the point: Mary took it like a boss. She didn't hesitate to realize that despite how weird it initially felt, that what she was about to experience came with many blessings. 

I WISH that we could all be like that when it came to human relationships. 

But we are all so scared...So scared of getting hurt. So we wear several layers of protection and don't let people in.

I want to encourage you to let people in. Abandon the fear of getting hurt.

Getting hurt is inevitable, regardless. We can get hurt even while trying to protect ourselves...But experiencing incredible relationships can only happen if we allow ourselves the risk of letting others completely in to know us. 

We all, as creations of God desire deep relationships, both friendly and romantic. We only prevent the possibility of depth by editing ourselves to others. 

I want to challenge you to take risks, and let people in. 

God gave us to all to one another to fellowship as a community of believers--and we should be able to be real with one another. 

Be 100% orange juice. It may be hard for others to get used to the pulp, but it's what makes you authentic. 

God intended us to be authentic. 

Ephesians 4:2-3

with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

James 5:16

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

Psalm 55:14We who had sweet fellowship together Walked in the house of God in the throng.