Worship is Weird--Good Weird: Three Elements of Worship and Its Blessings

As I get older, I have moments when I begin to realize that it's time to grow. Does anyone else have these moments? It's like a switch in my heart and my head that lights up and says "Ally, I think you need to mature here". I think that everyone has this little voice, but perhaps not everyone allows the volume of this voice to be turned up loud enough to hear. I get it, this voice can be a pain in the butt--a real annoyance when you don't particularly feel like you want to listen to it. That's because growing and making changes is hard. 

There are many areas that everyone may have a hard time allowing themselves to grow in, however, in this particular post I want to address growth in the area of worship. I'm addressing this because lately, this is the growth switch that has lit up in me. 

For the past 3 or so years, I have been a part of my church's worship team. I have gotten up on a stage and allowed myself to sing "Jesus" music in front of family, friends, and strangers. This is a feat in itself--letting other people know that I love Jesus enough to sing about Him in front of everyone. It's a bit like public speaking...but after three years I have begun to think, or rather hear the little voice, and it's been saying "there's more". 

I go to an Assemblies of God church--I have my whole life and I still get weirded out when people start raising their hands in the air. It scares me and it even embarrasses me sometimes. Lately, however, I've begun to realize that I'm upset with my discomfort. I want this abandon that people have when they worship--there has to be a reason why people do this---a special place they go when they close their eyes and raise their hands. 

I believe that this voice in my heart and head telling me to grow is God. And as I have listened to His reason on why I should grow in worship, this is what I've learned. 

Worship Is This: 

Worship is OBEDIENCE

Worship is DESIRE

Worship is TRUST

Worship Is Scary:

To obey is to give power

To desire is to crave connection

To trust is to believe you won’t be let down 

How Do We Get Over Our Fears?:

Think of Peter when he met Jesus on the water. Peter desired to be with Jesus, so without a thought, he ran out onto the water--he trusted that Jesus wouldn't let him sink. And by keeping his head up and his eyes only on Jesus he was able to receive Jesus's power to walk beside him in a place that is normally humanly impossible. In order for us to receive Jesus's power and make a connection with Him like Peter did, we must desire God in the same way. We must trust that God won’t let us sink. We must obey God by keeping our eyes on Him and not our own feet. 

That’s Why Worship Looks Like This:

Abandonment of self...reaching out for God...Hands raised. Closed eyes...God is more than what we physically see. And allowing ourselves to physically open ourselves up to receive the Holy Spirit, because it is through Him that we connect with Jesus and feel His love and His power.

Yes, worship is scary, but it is worth forcing yourself to grow in. Worship is a rich encounter and deepening of your relationship with God.

Worship isn’t about anyone around you. It’s about your connection with God.

Peter's Story can be found here: 

Matthew 14:22-34

To All the Boys I’ve “Loved” Before: I’ve Found Prince Charming—Farewell!

To All the Boys I’ve “Loved” Before: I Found Prince Charming—Farewell!

As my wedding approaches, I swear to you that just like Ebenezer Scrooge, I’ve been visited in my dreams from Ghosts of my past—but Ghosts of boyfriends past. And to be clear, I doubt these dreams are here to encourage repentance, rather they seem to just make me smile more when I wake up and realize how grateful I am for my soon to be husband. Yes, the dreams might draw a smile out of me, a laugh—maybe a sigh...but because of all of this I think it’s finally time to say goodbye.

So, to all you boys I’ve “loved” before, I want to write you a farewell message; because I simply don’t have room for you in my heart anymore...

To boyfriend number one, thank you for being the first boy I held hands with. Thank you for dumping me(over text) for a chance to get back with your first girlfriend. You taught me that I’m worth choosing first. 

To boyfriend number two (whom I told I considered to be my first boyfriend), thank you for being my first kiss. Thanks for telling me how special you thought I was, even though I know better now. Thank you for dumping me without warning, right after school in the middle of a crowded hallway. That kind of humiliation/devastation never leaves a person's memory. You taught me that saying goodbye to someone you care about should never be easy. 

And finally, to boyfriend number three, whom I thought was “the one”, thanks for everything else. Ultimately, thanks for being the one that forced me to decide what was important—what was nonnegotiable in love. You taught me that love is give and take—not one-sided.

Goodbye to you all, I truly wish you the best. Thanks for everything and for helping mold me in order to prepare me for whom I’d belong to best. 

And to the Man I love now, to the only one for whom there is space in my heart—thank you for giving me a love that is true, and thank you for wanting to give it only to me for forever ❤️ You’re a blessing and a gift from God and I will forever treasure you. 

Song of Solomon 3:4 

I have found the one whom my soul loves

Dating for Dummies

Hello all, welcome! 

Today I'd just really like to lay it out to you on the table when it comes to dating...

Dating. Isn't it so much fun? 😏 Yes, it's quite a thrill to prepare to sit across from someone you hardly know and venture into conversation that may or may not flow. 

You arrive, are seated at the table and are given menu's where it's a struggle to pick out what to order. Maybe it's just me, but I mentally go through what would be a bad idea to have. Like...chili is definitely a no go...or a go 💩...Nothing that will get stuck in your teeth easily...and well for me: nothing that I have to actively use a knife to cut through (I'm no product of finishing school, and I'm apt to look like some kind of neanderthal who's just discovered cutlery)

Anyway, It's a struggle. And if you think the process of being ON the date is hard, well, I'd say it's even harder once you go home. Waiting...and waiting to feel that little buzz in your pocket from your phone that will say, "I had a really great time tonight" And of course because they made you wait a whole half of an hour for such reassurance, you play hard to get, put your phone down and when it feels like you've also waited a half hour, end up replying five minutes later with, "I did too, we should do it again sometime!" .... and then you are horrified 😟...I just sounded way too overeager and excited. 

Let's shift a little bit here

Obviously I can only write from a female perspective on how I think maybe most ladies of my generation feel when it comes to guys taking us out...but I was thinking that maybe this perspective would come in handy...of course I'll add a little christian flair, but I want to lay it out: What dating should be expected to be.

Guys:

When you ask a girl out on a date...make sure it's clear that they know it's a D-A-T-E and not a DEY ATE...like "They ate", get it?😉 Sorry, that was a horrible pun, but I think it get's my point across. We don't want to be guessing all night if you invited us out because you are interested in us, or if we are simply becoming your girl-friend. Oh you gotta love that dash. It makes the end of the night horribly uncomfortable too...when the waiter brings the bill, and you are still talking, but no one has touched the little black book yet... then death by awkwardness occurs when the waitress comes back and asks if it's ready...🏏...🏏(Sorry, another horrible pun...but those are meant to signify crickets) But honestly, it's terribly uncomfortable. 

So rule number one: If it's a date that YOU'VE invited the girl on, then make it clear by saying something like, "Would you be interested in going on a date Friday night? I'm interested in getting to know you better. My treat." 

It's important to make intentions known from the start, or things become much more confusing than they have to be. 

Playing hard to get or coy is really not as fun as it's made it out to be! That being said, at the end of the night if you've enjoyed your date and feel like you'd like to go out again with her...give her some indication that that is so! You don't have to kiss her...DON'T shake her hand...but a hug would be acceptable, as long as you tack on a "thanks for a great night, I'd love to take you out again sometime"

Be clear, BE clear, BE CLEAR! WE BEG OF YOU! Guys, it's your job to initiate things when it comes to relationships...this isn't just coming from me, this is what God has called you as MEN to do. Lead and be clear with your intentions: 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all that you do be done in love. 

With that being said...

Ladies:

Do not chase after men. It's not your job to, really. In today's world it has become hard for us to remember that, but know that we are meant to be pursued. Just as we are the bride of christ and God pursues us as the groom. We are worth being pursued as well. Proverbs 31:10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. Ladies, wait on the Lord. 

Men and Women of God:

Be honorable when it comes to romantic pursuit. Do not accept anything less than what you know God would want for you. AND Don't simply grab onto someone just to have someone to hold onto. Be obedient to God, and he will give you the desires of your heart. He will provide what is best for you, He will provide who is best for you. Be PATIENT Psalm 37:4 Take delight in the LORD, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

Above all, remember that God should be put first. Remember that God is love. If you fall in love with Jesus before anyone else, then you'll never feel lacking. Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Hopefully there's a takeaway in this blog post. It was on my heart to share 💞

To Be Real With You

Realness is more than being you in front of others and not caring how other people see you.

It's more than being self confident and content.

It means letting people see you...it means being transparent

Especially with those who you want to be close with

It means consistently letting those you truly value in, and allowing them to be a confidant.

It means to be Pure:Unfiltered

Lately this is my personal struggle...

Lately I've had the ability to self edit with the people I've prioritized building relationships with, and I don't know if it's helpful or harmful. 

I'm like Tropicana. I'm orange juice...but I have no pulp--I'm from concentrate. And while I may seem more appealing, I am less authentic. Less healthy...

I accomplish appearing appealing by self editing, but I have to be honest with myself and admit that it isn't very fulfilling. 

And I can't help but wonder if the people on the other end might start to feel the same way about me...

Like they don't really know me.

But I want to know them--and I hope they want to know me..

I believe we all have this same struggle. Today technology allows us to sit and compose a single text--a single response in whatever amount of time that we feel is necessary in order to come across to the other person as interesting. 

To come across as interesting...or probably more accurately...to try not to come across as "weird"

I wish this insecurity didn't have to exist. 

I wish I could just come on strong right away to the people I feel a strong connection with--don't we all? It would make things so much simpler.

I can't help but think of how strong God came onto Mary. This girl is just going along, minding her own business, and is so abruptly interrupted by an angel who's like "by the way, you've been chosen to give birth to Jesus, and oh yeah...you'll probably have to figure out how you're going to tell people you got pregnant when you aren't married yet. You are so blessed! Good luck!" 

That was the AT version by the way (Ally Translation) 

But anyway, back to the point: Mary took it like a boss. She didn't hesitate to realize that despite how weird it initially felt, that what she was about to experience came with many blessings. 

I WISH that we could all be like that when it came to human relationships. 

But we are all so scared...So scared of getting hurt. So we wear several layers of protection and don't let people in.

I want to encourage you to let people in. Abandon the fear of getting hurt.

Getting hurt is inevitable, regardless. We can get hurt even while trying to protect ourselves...But experiencing incredible relationships can only happen if we allow ourselves the risk of letting others completely in to know us. 

We all, as creations of God desire deep relationships, both friendly and romantic. We only prevent the possibility of depth by editing ourselves to others. 

I want to challenge you to take risks, and let people in. 

God gave us to all to one another to fellowship as a community of believers--and we should be able to be real with one another. 

Be 100% orange juice. It may be hard for others to get used to the pulp, but it's what makes you authentic. 

God intended us to be authentic. 

Ephesians 4:2-3

with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

James 5:16

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

Psalm 55:14We who had sweet fellowship together Walked in the house of God in the throng.

So You Think You're In Love?

Between each of my blogs I take serious time to take a look around. To notice issues that affect me, and affect those who are close to me.

These past two weeks or so I feel like I've been so distracted with fun and I've really neglected to write perhaps a much needed letter to many of you may actually read my humble little blog.

I have one thing in particular on my mind, and that's love.

I'm sorry, I know it feels like I always have the same-ish topic on mind. But that's what I have to give; pieces of myself that hopefully help others.

I'm sorry for this next part as it is painfully cliche, but I feel like I have to say it in defense of my very filtered character.

"I don't normally do this,"but I will share on an extreme level something very personal.

Once upon a time there was a very shy and insecure 16 year old named Ally. She swore that she sprayed boy repellent on everyday. Sometimes even people repellent.

And by some miracle...a very cute, somewhat shy boy showed insistent interest in her. Sometimes to the point where she felt very annoyed...(but that's another story)

She wasn't sure about all of this. It seemed very serious very fast. And to be honest--it was.

And so somewhere in there--Ally left herself behind, and made poor choices, that thankfully didn't completely alter her whole life.

I thought I was, "in love"

And I insisted upon myself that this was true. So much so that I let it go on for about 4 years.

I was convinced that this was it. That if I didn't accept what I'd been given, that I'd risk losing everything that I did have with this boy.

Sure, he was sweet--at times. He claimed he would do anything for me. And he did do most anything  for me.

But it wasn't enough. "love" wasn't enough.

Because it wasn't love. Especially during the hard times in our relationship.

That's where I'll end my personal anecdote. Feel free to ask me about it personally, but that's all I feel  should be said publicly.

The point is...

Love is not:
What someone does for you
How tightly someone holds onto you
Constant apologies

Love is not a lot of things. And I'm here to tell you something very important

Love does not exist without God. God is love.

That's what my relationship lacked. We say we cared about God, but he took a back seat anytime we made decisions that God wouldn't have condoned.

Without God, all you have is blind infatuation. God is commitment.

Some people ask "why get married? It's just a piece of paper"

Well, yes without God--it is just a piece of paper.

Real love and commitment only exist under God.

Please understand this. Please want this for yourself!

God is the only love you will ever need.

So do you think you're in love?

Are you in a relationship with someone who isn't willing to commit to God?

Where do you think your relationship is going? What does it really mean?

I'd like to challenge you: Should you enter into a relationship with only the hope of being an influence for them to come to Jesus?

1 John 4:8
"Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love"

2 Corinthians 6:14
"Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?"

It took me awhile to come to the realization that I didn't need a relationship to have love. All I needed was God.

I had to let go of the insecurity of never finding anything that was more. 

God is more.

And as I am, I hope that you will trust God to find someone who is just for you.

Love, Ally.

True Friends: A MUST read!

Socializing seems to be an art--an art that I guess, I don't have.

Can anybody else relate?

Over the past couple of days someone has confided in me and shared what seems to be the exact struggle I've always encountered when it comes to trying to make friends:

It's classic...

Easily drawn in by certain people-- those who are popular because of their vivacious personality; and you want to be part of that--to be in on the society of people that other people are drawn to.

And I have to wonder, does my insecurity show too much? Because no matter what I do, it seems that the people I am interested in--are not interested in me.

I've tried to be myself...I've tried to be attentive and sensitive...I've tried to be interested...and I've tried to confide, hoping that giving pieces of me away would help them to connect better with me.

And after this cycle has been repeated a few times, I've learned to change my expectations.

But what about strategy?

We are only human, so it's perfectly understandable that for the most part--we only think about friendships in a completely selfish manner.

Being a friend isn't really all we really think it is. Thankfully it's more. But you have to take it seriously.

Of course friendship comes with the joy of just purely enjoying each others company--but that's the reward after having built a friendship based on how God intended.

Ever hear the phrase "blood is thicker than water"? Basically, family is first above all else--and we've heard a million times in church that "we are a church family"

Well what the heck does that even mean?

It means we should be there for each other--this is the part where we live our lives for God everyday after Sunday too.

In other words: It's great that you shook my hand at church and asked about my plans for college...but how about investing in my life--in others lives?

This means being inclusive. In other words: I understand that maybe we don't have the same hobbies, but we share the single most important person in our lives--doesn't that count for something?

BUILD RELATIONSHIPS

I hope that you don't think that you already do this 100%--even if it's 90% God deserves 100%

Don't you understand that we are an example? Human connection and bonds is what attracts any human--can you really expect anyone to be interested in hearing you talk about Jesus and your so called "close" relationship with him if you haven't demonstrated that you can be close with other human beings?

Obviously we should do our best to connect with everyone in the christian community...but I have to say that I think it's especially important within our own church families.

Do you know the person's name of who sits in the row across from you every Sunday morning?

Yes?

Okay, well have you asked how their life is going so far? Have you asked about their walk with Jesus?

Intimidating, right?

The point is, is this: Church is not for the saved. Church is a place where the broken come to be healed--how can we expect them to heal if we are even too shy to know the person who we see every single Sunday?

Once you label yourself a part of God's family you have to abandon the urge to "clique," if you will.

Love everyone equally and be willing to share your time with them.

Expect others to have character flaws--be willing to love them like blood.

God's blood was shed for us. It is thicker than our own familial blood on this earth.

Let that sink in. We are family by the blood of Jesus.

So the next time you try to tell yourself that "family" is all you need as friends in your life, because they can't somehow disown you--think about how in reality--that bond is nothing compared by the promise God made you by accepting you into his family.

Remember who your family is--and treat them how they ought to be treated.

Take what he says seriously:

 Mark 12:31

 "The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these"

Did you get that? NO commandment is GREATER.

With that said, please expect me to awkwardly approach you.  



 

Winnie The Pooh and Selflessness

"When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it."
      -Winnie The Pooh

I don't think I could describe inner feeling any better. And this is why humans tend to be so insecure. 

We are afraid of people not connecting with us, and connecting to things we connect to.

Lately I've been feeling convicted over the fact that I'm a very selfish person. I am very concerned with how others view me. And then I forget that others are insecure too. 

Maybe instead of being concerned with how others could make me feel more comfortable, I should first be concerned with making them feel more comfortable.

This requires an outgoing personality, right? Maybe. But I wonder if it's our Christian duty? 

Perhaps I could feel so much more secure with myself if I knew that I made the effort to show the love of Christ to others by simply pouring into them a little.

I'd really love to learn how to do this on a daily basis.

I'd like to learn how to connect with people. And not connect soley for my emotional benefit. 

Lately I think we've all become selfish. We need to realize that we can never put ourselves first in any relationship. 

The other persons emotional needs should be your first priority and vise versa. 

I apologize for the speculative format. But I think the message is still somewhat clear. 

Philippians 2:3-4


"Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others."

This is probably one of the hardest things that we should try to do. We must remember to always put others first no matter what. It seems like it would be draining...but I have a feeling that it's exactly the opposite.

Much love, Ally