Socializing seems to be an art--an art that I guess, I don't have.
Can anybody else relate?
Over the past couple of days someone has confided in me and shared what seems to be the exact struggle I've always encountered when it comes to trying to make friends:
It's classic...
Easily drawn in by certain people-- those who are popular because of their vivacious personality; and you want to be part of that--to be in on the society of people that other people are drawn to.
And I have to wonder, does my insecurity show too much? Because no matter what I do, it seems that the people I am interested in--are not interested in me.
I've tried to be myself...I've tried to be attentive and sensitive...I've tried to be interested...and I've tried to confide, hoping that giving pieces of me away would help them to connect better with me.
And after this cycle has been repeated a few times, I've learned to change my expectations.
But what about strategy?
We are only human, so it's perfectly understandable that for the most part--we only think about friendships in a completely selfish manner.
Being a friend isn't really all we really think it is. Thankfully it's more. But you have to take it seriously.
Of course friendship comes with the joy of just purely enjoying each others company--but that's the reward after having built a friendship based on how God intended.
Ever hear the phrase "blood is thicker than water"? Basically, family is first above all else--and we've heard a million times in church that "we are a church family"
Well what the heck does that even mean?
It means we should be there for each other--this is the part where we live our lives for God everyday after Sunday too.
In other words: It's great that you shook my hand at church and asked about my plans for college...but how about investing in my life--in others lives?
This means being inclusive. In other words: I understand that maybe we don't have the same hobbies, but we share the single most important person in our lives--doesn't that count for something?
BUILD RELATIONSHIPS
I hope that you don't think that you already do this 100%--even if it's 90% God deserves 100%
Don't you understand that we are an example? Human connection and bonds is what attracts any human--can you really expect anyone to be interested in hearing you talk about Jesus and your so called "close" relationship with him if you haven't demonstrated that you can be close with other human beings?
Obviously we should do our best to connect with everyone in the christian community...but I have to say that I think it's especially important within our own church families.
Do you know the person's name of who sits in the row across from you every Sunday morning?
Yes?
Okay, well have you asked how their life is going so far? Have you asked about their walk with Jesus?
Intimidating, right?
The point is, is this: Church is not for the saved. Church is a place where the broken come to be healed--how can we expect them to heal if we are even too shy to know the person who we see every single Sunday?
Once you label yourself a part of God's family you have to abandon the urge to "clique," if you will.
Love everyone equally and be willing to share your time with them.
Expect others to have character flaws--be willing to love them like blood.
God's blood was shed for us. It is thicker than our own familial blood on this earth.
Let that sink in. We are family by the blood of Jesus.
So the next time you try to tell yourself that "family" is all you need as friends in your life, because they can't somehow disown you--think about how in reality--that bond is nothing compared by the promise God made you by accepting you into his family.
Remember who your family is--and treat them how they ought to be treated.
Take what he says seriously:
Mark 12:31
"The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these"
Did you get that? NO commandment is GREATER.
With that said, please expect me to awkwardly approach you.
Can anybody else relate?
Over the past couple of days someone has confided in me and shared what seems to be the exact struggle I've always encountered when it comes to trying to make friends:
It's classic...
Easily drawn in by certain people-- those who are popular because of their vivacious personality; and you want to be part of that--to be in on the society of people that other people are drawn to.
And I have to wonder, does my insecurity show too much? Because no matter what I do, it seems that the people I am interested in--are not interested in me.
I've tried to be myself...I've tried to be attentive and sensitive...I've tried to be interested...and I've tried to confide, hoping that giving pieces of me away would help them to connect better with me.
And after this cycle has been repeated a few times, I've learned to change my expectations.
But what about strategy?
We are only human, so it's perfectly understandable that for the most part--we only think about friendships in a completely selfish manner.
Being a friend isn't really all we really think it is. Thankfully it's more. But you have to take it seriously.
Of course friendship comes with the joy of just purely enjoying each others company--but that's the reward after having built a friendship based on how God intended.
Ever hear the phrase "blood is thicker than water"? Basically, family is first above all else--and we've heard a million times in church that "we are a church family"
Well what the heck does that even mean?
It means we should be there for each other--this is the part where we live our lives for God everyday after Sunday too.
In other words: It's great that you shook my hand at church and asked about my plans for college...but how about investing in my life--in others lives?
This means being inclusive. In other words: I understand that maybe we don't have the same hobbies, but we share the single most important person in our lives--doesn't that count for something?
BUILD RELATIONSHIPS
I hope that you don't think that you already do this 100%--even if it's 90% God deserves 100%
Don't you understand that we are an example? Human connection and bonds is what attracts any human--can you really expect anyone to be interested in hearing you talk about Jesus and your so called "close" relationship with him if you haven't demonstrated that you can be close with other human beings?
Obviously we should do our best to connect with everyone in the christian community...but I have to say that I think it's especially important within our own church families.
Do you know the person's name of who sits in the row across from you every Sunday morning?
Yes?
Okay, well have you asked how their life is going so far? Have you asked about their walk with Jesus?
Intimidating, right?
The point is, is this: Church is not for the saved. Church is a place where the broken come to be healed--how can we expect them to heal if we are even too shy to know the person who we see every single Sunday?
Once you label yourself a part of God's family you have to abandon the urge to "clique," if you will.
Love everyone equally and be willing to share your time with them.
Expect others to have character flaws--be willing to love them like blood.
God's blood was shed for us. It is thicker than our own familial blood on this earth.
Let that sink in. We are family by the blood of Jesus.
So the next time you try to tell yourself that "family" is all you need as friends in your life, because they can't somehow disown you--think about how in reality--that bond is nothing compared by the promise God made you by accepting you into his family.
Remember who your family is--and treat them how they ought to be treated.
Take what he says seriously:
Mark 12:31
"The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these"
Did you get that? NO commandment is GREATER.
With that said, please expect me to awkwardly approach you.
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